I Don't Understand..

I wanted to make a funky, cool, little ya dig to tell how I'm feeling right now but I don't feel like being complicated. Plus true feelings are easier to spit out.....

I'm very very in tune with myself which is why I think I tend to understand more than others because I never really have the road blockage of taking into account who am I before I can answer self-pertaining or situation based questions.

My sense of self involves my own morals that might be different from everyone else because they stem from not doing whats deemed right or wrong, but on the judgment that reveals the truest result.

I.E. I'm not going to call the sky red if I was morally taught that the sky is red when I can judge for myself that its blue.

So why am I tricking myself into believing that my sky in my world is blue when it really is red?

Why am I the person that knows myself the best but I confuse myself by looking at things for what I want them to be instead of what they really are?

Why is my mind so bombarded with bullshit?

Is it because I prefer not to open my mouth to avoid confrontation since I don't like making noise or is it because I don't want to be deemed crazy or misunderstood?

Why am I up at 5:35 AM and keep hearing footsteps behind me? Am I tweaking or is that my loud ass conscious behind me?

Why do I feel like I need to scream right now or is this a crescendo to an orgasmic self release?

Is this a self release or a case of self-conflict?

Why do I tell people that "If something is wrong with me you would know" but I never tell people if something is wrong with me?


Why have I been obsessed with this quote from Spiderman more than usual lately?
Peter Parker: [relating to M.J. what he supposedly said to Spider-man] I said, um, Spider-man, I said, uh, the great thing about M.J. is when you look in her eyes, and she's looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel stronger, and weaker at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel, except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable, and you weren't ready for it.

..Or is this part of whats wrong with me that I don't want to tell?

Is this the part where we listen to Maybe?

After Maybe, can you tell me What's Wrong With Me?

Peter Parker, Spiderman, or Spider Parker?

Why can someone make me generate this many thoughts?

Why can't I ask what I really wanna ask?

And now, my mind goes blank... I think it just came.

Sunflower